I was born in Kazakhstan on January 1, 1985 into a Russian family. We moved to Germany when I was less than one year old because my father was a military man in Russian army. After living in Germany for seven and a half years we returned to Russia. Russia was an atheistic country for a long time and the church structure was almost completely destroyed throughout the country early in the 20th century. By the time churches were reopened, most of the people stopped being religious and did not pay attention to the religion questions. My family was not an exception. My father’s family is from the Volga region in Russia. His family and he have always belonged to the Russian Orthodox Church. However, I have never seen my father or any of his family members to be observant, going to church or even reading the Bible. My mother’s family is from Middle Ural, Russia and my grandmother was married to a Jewish man. They had two children, my uncle and my mother who was few years younger. My grandfather disappeared in the mid 1950s when my mother was small and my grandmother with the children had to leave the village they lived in. My grandmother’s brother worked in the passport exchange office, so he helped her change their names in the documents and flee to the south, to Northern Caucasus where they lived for a few years. Later my grandmother returned back to Middle Ural, but she never went back to her village. Years passed by, my uncle and my mother grew up, moved away, got married, had children, but they have never knew what happened to their father. It always was a taboo conversation. My grandmother never got remarried. Now she is over 80 years old, but she still does not want to talk about it.
My mother wanted to know more about her father so she searched for him. When search did not bring any results, she started to study the history of Jewish people in order to get familiar with her father’s past. My mother had and still has a lot of friends who are Jewish. She has always respected Judaism and because of my mom, I have always been surrounded by Jews. Even though none of them were observant, they called themselves Russians, and they lived and behaved like ordinary Russians, they never lost their Jewish identity. At the end of 1970s my uncle married a Jewish woman whose family was from Odessa. As a result, all four of my cousins which now live in Frankfurt-on-Main, Germany are Jewish. My uncle’s family moved to Germany in the beginning of 1990s.
My parents still live in Russia. I came to the United States only 4 years ago as a student to work in the Jewish summer camp (Camp CHI, WI). It was the first time I encountered Jewish traditions closely. There I experienced kosher food and the Shabbat celebration. Before camp, I did not know what it meant “kosher.” During first week I could not understand what was going on. Why different sets of dishes were served for breakfasts and dinners? Why could not we have milk after having hamburgers? Why children were so excited about Shabbat dinner on Friday night and why did they get dressed up? There was a lot of prayers, singing and dancing that night. I assumed that it was one time celebration of something. However, all other Fridays in the camp were the same as the first one.
I have never been baptized in any other religion because I believe my mother wanted me to make my own deliberate choice of religion that would fit me the best.
I feel that Judaism is right for me because it encourages living a better life by concentrating on deeds rather than on only beliefs. One of the most appealing values of Judaism for me is the principle that everyone was created “in the image of G-d” and it makes every single individual to be very valuable. Therefore, there are so many laws that protect an individual in various life situations. Also I find it very appealing that Judaism is a religion which is focused on family traditions. It makes family relationships stronger which leads to a more supportive community.
I believe in G-d as all-powerful and the only One who gave us Ten Commandments through Moses to instruct our lives. I believe that we have to keep our faith and devotion to G-d whether He blesses or punishes us. No matter what we have to keep the laws He gave to us.
The final decision of my conversion into Judaism was after I met my fiancé, , three years ago. He was born and raised in a Jewish Orthodox family in Manhattan. He has two siblings. His sister who is four years older than him married Israeli and moved to Jerusalem almost twenty five years ago. Most of his first cousins have lived in Israel for many years and those who don’t travel there often and are very connected to it. Rich has been to Israel several times. And we are planning our trip to Israel at the end of the winter with all the children for a month or so.
Living and working hard in the busy world, his practice and family values have declined over the last few years. He has two children from his first marriage, and we have one more child on a way. We have different backgrounds and a large age difference, and both factors make a big challenge for us in the future. We feel that having a real Jewish life and Jewish home will help us to be closer to each other and have a good, strong relationship. We have started to have Shabbat dinners every Friday with the children. Before the dinner I light candles, he makes Kiddush and we drink the wine, he blesses children, we all wash our hands and we say the blessing over the challah. Rich still helps me with the blessings.
Since I started taking Introduction to Judaism classes in January, my prayer life has improved. I pray when I wake up to thank God for a new day, before meals to thank Him for the bread, and before I go to bed to thank Him for everything He gave to me. I also pray when I am scared or worried about anything or anyone.
I started to cook more Jewish foods. It was not a challenge for me because Russian food is very similar with traditional Jewish cooking. We want to keep a kosher house, but it is not as easy to start as I thought. I do not have problem with not eating shellfish or mixing meat and dairy because I have never done it in my diet. However, to separate the kitchen turned to be difficult for me. Therefore, during one of her trips to Chicago Rich’s mother is going to help me to buy new sets of dishes, clean and separate those dishes that still can be used for kosher.
We have few mezuzahs hung on some of our doorframes. X’s children made their own mezuzahs in a pottery shop for their rooms. Also, I found a box that contained a lot of his family silver Judaica items, such as Hanukkah menorah, Shabbat wine cups and candle sticks, spice box and candle holder for the Saturday night.
During the winter and spring we attended Ezra-Habonim temple on a regular basis and we participated with Purim and the Passover Seder there. Because we live in downtown Chicago, now we are trying services in temples in our neighborhood. We want to choose and be members of the temple that is closest to our house and the one that has a good children’s religious school.
My conversion is coming soon, but I still have a lot to learn. I see my conversion as the beginning of a long trip full of unknown and undiscovered experiences. I am planning to continue my Jewish education by attending the synagogue and participating in its activities which will make me to spend more time with Jewish people and to be more connected to them. I have already taken Hebrew reading class, but I feel that it was not enough for me. I would like to be able not just to read, but also understand what I am reading, and communicate. X’s parents have a big home library that has a lot of Jewish literature in English as well as in Hebrew, so I have a good opportunity to educate myself by reading it. Finally, I will continue improving my Jewish education by teaching my children about Judaism.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
conversion and videos
Shalom
I am a non jew from Spain. As a person fully interested in judaism i encourage you to continue doing this kind of videos which are for great help. If I decide to convert probably i would choose conservative Bet Din from London but anyway your videos are on my favourite list, Thank you!
I am a non jew from Spain. As a person fully interested in judaism i encourage you to continue doing this kind of videos which are for great help. If I decide to convert probably i would choose conservative Bet Din from London but anyway your videos are on my favourite list, Thank you!
conversion essay
Growing up in a very small town in Southern Illinois did not expose me to the Jewish faith. My religious exposure was mainly to Catholicism, my former religion and the religion of my mother, and to my father’s Pentecostal upbringing. Religion was a part of my home but a very minute part, as my father did not practice any religion after his parents passed away. I think growing up with parents of different religious beliefs, although happily married now for 33 years, allowed my brother and me to experience other religions. My first exposure to Judaism came my freshman year at the University of Illinois. The majority of students living in my dormitory were from the north shore of Chicago who seemed to have an amazing connection to one another. I became friends with many Jewish guys and girls that year and envied the bond and number of friendships my Jewish friends had on campus. My final year of college I met x and five years later I know that not only is he the one for me but also Judaism.
Over the past eight years I have gained a better understanding of the Jewish faith and Jewish living and numerous aspects have drawn me to the religion. First and foremost, we are still waiting for the Messiah. Growing up I always questioned how Jesus was born from a virgin, why Jesus when there were many other influential teachers in the Bible and why is the world still plagued with poverty, hunger, war and racism? These were questions that I never really felt I had answered growing up. Judaism has answered these questions for me. I know now that the Messiah has not come and that is why this world remains full of hurt. It makes so much sense! Another concept that I struggled with growing up was doing good as a means to get to heaven. Shouldn’t we always strive to do good? Why should doing good be an incentive for a later life when the world needs so much help now? I consider myself an overall good person who tries to make the right decisions everyday and, although I could do much more, I try to help others less fortunate. I do and have always done these kind acts because that is what I should do…not because it is a means to an end.
Growing from the core beliefs of Judaism is the strong sense of family life and a bond with other Jewish people. Being around the x family for almost five years now has taught me how special the bond between family can really be. I hope I can even come close to mimicking the love in their household and central focus of family. In this day and age it seems that so many families are broken and those that remain together have so many other important focuses, as work, that they overlook what God has given us.
Judaism teaches that it is mitzvah to reach out and help those less fortunate in the community. I have always tried to give my time to others through mentoring, food drives, donations, and various other activities and hope that I can use my Jewish beliefs to further help those in need. I will continue to reach out in my community, my synagogue and pursue my dream of starting my own charity helping teen mothers in need in rural communities. In my continual Jewish learning, I will continue to live by the Commandments, observe Jewish law, observe Shabbat, holidays and stay grounded by remembering the destruction of the Temple.
As a Jew I identify with Israel as our homeland and as the Holy Land given to our people. I have not traveled to Israel but have a strong desire to make trips to Israel a priority for myself and my family. Although I cannot speak from experience, I feel that traveling to Israel will be a spiritual experience that will only increase my learning of Judaism. I hope to meet Jews in Israel and make lasting friendships to learn more about the country and the bond that comes with being in the Holy Land. In times which I am unable to travel to Israel due to obligations in the states I will support Israel. As a Jew in a world of numerous faiths, I believe Judaism provides a strong bond that differs from other religions. Regardless of the langue spoken or cultural differences, Judaism stretches to all because the core beliefs connect us. I think it is best put that when you meet someone on the street regardless if in the U.S. or another country, once you find out that he or she is a Jew, you have met a friend and immediately connect with that person.
In my local community my bond with other Jews is strong with my family and friends as a base, but I will strive to play a bigger role in my synagogue and in Chicago Jewish community. I am currently working in Kansas City and have reached out to Jews in my law firm to connect and have the opportunity to meet Jews in other communities. My current living situation makes it very apparent how comfortable I am in my Jewish community in Chicago where many more Jews live and family and friends surround me. I think it is a unique opportunity for me in Kansas City, a city which there is not a large Jewish community, to reach out and really experience the bond associated with Judaism.
My commitment to prayer is extremely strong and is a very natural practice to me. I believe it is a personal growing process as a Jew and brings me closer to God. I feel that the Shema confirms me of my continual learning process everyday and my need to live by the Commandments. One area that I need to work on because my commitment seems to be strained with the pressures of life is attending synagogue. I hope my strong desire to observe Shabbat more consistently will result in more regular attendance at synagogue. I am making an effort to observe Shabbat as this time is a restful time to reflect on my life, family, my connection to God, and my connection to the Jewish people. I tend to over schedule myself like many people and believe that Shabbat is crucial for my growth as a Jew. As far as keeping kosher I will try but I feel this area may be difficult as my immediate family does not keep kosher.
I plan to continue my Jewish study through reading, the Torah and other books on Judaism. I want my home to contain shelves of books that contain information on Jewish teachings and the law so I can not only continue my learning process but ensure my family is well connected to Judaism. My commitment to attending synagogue more often will also continue my education and clarify some of my own readings. I plan on committing myself to learn Hebrew through classes and reading. Hebrew will connect me with other Jews around the world. Staying connected in my community and outside groups will continue my study by talking and discussing with other Jews and bonding over lessons. Finally, I hope to utilize the numerous Internet sites, blogs, etc., to connect to Jews worldwide to learn of their experiences and spiritual path.
Over the past eight years I have gained a better understanding of the Jewish faith and Jewish living and numerous aspects have drawn me to the religion. First and foremost, we are still waiting for the Messiah. Growing up I always questioned how Jesus was born from a virgin, why Jesus when there were many other influential teachers in the Bible and why is the world still plagued with poverty, hunger, war and racism? These were questions that I never really felt I had answered growing up. Judaism has answered these questions for me. I know now that the Messiah has not come and that is why this world remains full of hurt. It makes so much sense! Another concept that I struggled with growing up was doing good as a means to get to heaven. Shouldn’t we always strive to do good? Why should doing good be an incentive for a later life when the world needs so much help now? I consider myself an overall good person who tries to make the right decisions everyday and, although I could do much more, I try to help others less fortunate. I do and have always done these kind acts because that is what I should do…not because it is a means to an end.
Growing from the core beliefs of Judaism is the strong sense of family life and a bond with other Jewish people. Being around the x family for almost five years now has taught me how special the bond between family can really be. I hope I can even come close to mimicking the love in their household and central focus of family. In this day and age it seems that so many families are broken and those that remain together have so many other important focuses, as work, that they overlook what God has given us.
Judaism teaches that it is mitzvah to reach out and help those less fortunate in the community. I have always tried to give my time to others through mentoring, food drives, donations, and various other activities and hope that I can use my Jewish beliefs to further help those in need. I will continue to reach out in my community, my synagogue and pursue my dream of starting my own charity helping teen mothers in need in rural communities. In my continual Jewish learning, I will continue to live by the Commandments, observe Jewish law, observe Shabbat, holidays and stay grounded by remembering the destruction of the Temple.
As a Jew I identify with Israel as our homeland and as the Holy Land given to our people. I have not traveled to Israel but have a strong desire to make trips to Israel a priority for myself and my family. Although I cannot speak from experience, I feel that traveling to Israel will be a spiritual experience that will only increase my learning of Judaism. I hope to meet Jews in Israel and make lasting friendships to learn more about the country and the bond that comes with being in the Holy Land. In times which I am unable to travel to Israel due to obligations in the states I will support Israel. As a Jew in a world of numerous faiths, I believe Judaism provides a strong bond that differs from other religions. Regardless of the langue spoken or cultural differences, Judaism stretches to all because the core beliefs connect us. I think it is best put that when you meet someone on the street regardless if in the U.S. or another country, once you find out that he or she is a Jew, you have met a friend and immediately connect with that person.
In my local community my bond with other Jews is strong with my family and friends as a base, but I will strive to play a bigger role in my synagogue and in Chicago Jewish community. I am currently working in Kansas City and have reached out to Jews in my law firm to connect and have the opportunity to meet Jews in other communities. My current living situation makes it very apparent how comfortable I am in my Jewish community in Chicago where many more Jews live and family and friends surround me. I think it is a unique opportunity for me in Kansas City, a city which there is not a large Jewish community, to reach out and really experience the bond associated with Judaism.
My commitment to prayer is extremely strong and is a very natural practice to me. I believe it is a personal growing process as a Jew and brings me closer to God. I feel that the Shema confirms me of my continual learning process everyday and my need to live by the Commandments. One area that I need to work on because my commitment seems to be strained with the pressures of life is attending synagogue. I hope my strong desire to observe Shabbat more consistently will result in more regular attendance at synagogue. I am making an effort to observe Shabbat as this time is a restful time to reflect on my life, family, my connection to God, and my connection to the Jewish people. I tend to over schedule myself like many people and believe that Shabbat is crucial for my growth as a Jew. As far as keeping kosher I will try but I feel this area may be difficult as my immediate family does not keep kosher.
I plan to continue my Jewish study through reading, the Torah and other books on Judaism. I want my home to contain shelves of books that contain information on Jewish teachings and the law so I can not only continue my learning process but ensure my family is well connected to Judaism. My commitment to attending synagogue more often will also continue my education and clarify some of my own readings. I plan on committing myself to learn Hebrew through classes and reading. Hebrew will connect me with other Jews around the world. Staying connected in my community and outside groups will continue my study by talking and discussing with other Jews and bonding over lessons. Finally, I hope to utilize the numerous Internet sites, blogs, etc., to connect to Jews worldwide to learn of their experiences and spiritual path.
videos
I cannot thank you enough for your videos on you tube. I watched two of your videos about converting to Judaism and I am going to take some time to watch all your videos in the coming weeks.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
videos help
not sure if you remember me! but your videos and web site have been great learning tools along with many others in my decision to convert! i found a great temple here in my home town! the Reform Synagogue, the Rabbi is very nice and has me reading "A Complete Idiots Guide to Judaism" to get started and writing down terms.
it took me about 7 to 8 months of research and soul searching to figure out if i really wanted to convert! i haven't been a member of a church in 5 years and haven't believed in Jesus for about 3 so Judaism seems fitting, and then i found out i could convert to the Reform sect and just fell in love, and realized G-d was pointing me in the right direction! i want to say thank you for the time you put in to the informative videos i have watched so many i used to watch like 5 a night just trying to learn and now i can't wait to start this process which i know will take a year or more, but learning what G-d wants me to know of myself and of religion should take a lifetime so i'm already a bit behind!
thank you
it took me about 7 to 8 months of research and soul searching to figure out if i really wanted to convert! i haven't been a member of a church in 5 years and haven't believed in Jesus for about 3 so Judaism seems fitting, and then i found out i could convert to the Reform sect and just fell in love, and realized G-d was pointing me in the right direction! i want to say thank you for the time you put in to the informative videos i have watched so many i used to watch like 5 a night just trying to learn and now i can't wait to start this process which i know will take a year or more, but learning what G-d wants me to know of myself and of religion should take a lifetime so i'm already a bit behind!
thank you
Monday, June 23, 2008
essay for conversion
1. Describe the factors which have drawn you to Judaism.
Throughout my life, I have been in pursuit of pure truth. I was raised in a Christian environment and experienced numerous issues with the teachings that surfaced during that experience. By the time I was 16, I was questioning everything that was being taught in the churches we attended. In several areas, the explanations provided via the religious communities did not make sense. When I was 16 (1985), I was removed from a prominent Christian church in Oklahoma City because I chose to help a homeless man get to see his terminally ill daughter in a rain storm vs. attending a Sunday School class. At that point, I explored a few other versions of the Christian church community. (During my life, I have attended several different denominations of the Christian faith.)
I chose to jetison everything I had learned about religion by the time I was 18. When I resided in Scotland (1989-1991), I began to re-establish my religious beliefs. I studied whenever possible to try to establish a flawless theological foundation. However, I found myself removed from a Baptist church and an Assembly of G-d church on the same day. My “crime” was answering someone’s question with an explanation directly from Proverbs. I was promptly disassociated from these churches because I read and talked about the Scriptures.
I still continued my pursuit of the theological truth after being removed from these congregations. At this point in my life, I began to realize that the pursuit of the theological truth was going to be somewhat unpopular with the mainstream Christains… but I had to pursue it. There were far too many unanswered questions and theological conflicts presented by Christianity. It is not sufficient for me to receive an answer about a religious issue of “you just have to accept it even though we do not have a foundation for it”.
In February 2000, a lady who worked in the executive wing of my employer’s compound visited with me about some Hebrew lessons she was taking with a Jewish congregation. She explained that she wanted me to investigate some claims by the congregation about mistranslations in the Scriptures being used by the Christian communities. I explained that I knew nothing about the Hebrew and Greek languages. She acknowledged this fact and informed me that she knew I would find out the actual truth regardless of what it was (I was an internal auditor who investigated fraud at that time). I spent the evening pouring over books and back translating the English into the Greek text. I discovered that the claims made by the Jewish congregation were accurate and very much understated. This event raised numerous questions for me to explore. I began logically working all of the issues backwards that I had with Christianity. Before the night was over, I had settled all of the issues I had with Christianity. If anything, it was a fraud. I jetisoned everything I learned about religion (again) and began to explore the Jewish lifestyle from that point in time forward.
Through Judaism, all of the theological issues I had during my prior experiences were eliminated completely. Logically, Judaism makes perfect sense to me.
2. Which Jewish values do you find most appealing and persuasive?
The concept of lifetime study appeals the most to me. As a former university professor and current doctoral student, I believe in pursuing study as part of a lifestyle and a lifelong commitment… not to merely meet a requirement. Simplicity and economy are two of the most appealing values to me. I do not believe it is fair to others for one to flaunt their wealth or lack of wealth. Judaism’s focus on the family and ritual observances are very important to me. I believe that it will help solidify my children’s theological values early on and without any concealment of reality or flawed thinking.
3. How is Judaism more appropriate for you than your former religion or worldview/lifestyle?
Judaism encourages thinking and study in a way that other religions do not necessarily do. It also encourages one to question and seek to understand the Scriptures instead of blindly accepting a person’s explanation of why it is the way it is. Keeping the Shabbat and the High Holy days have actually provided me and my family with a time of rest that was not available to us under any other religious viewpoint.
4. Describe your understanding of and relationship to God.
G-d is the supreme being who is responsible for the creation and orchestration of this world and universe. We have a responsibility to honor Him by keeping His commandments and worshiping Him in the ways that He has instructed us to do. It is our pleasure to worship Him and keep His commands. My relationship to G-d is one that involves studying the Torah and attending the prayer services or conducting them at home with my children should we not be able to attend.
5. How has your personal and home life changed because of Jewish tradition? How do see your Jewish life progressing in the future?
The biggest change in my personal and home life involved the challenge of keeping of the Shabbat. I have been trying to observe the Shabbat in some manner since Feb 2000. I have strove to not to work at my job and perform physical labor on Shabbat, to have a Shabbat dinner, and to daven the Kabbalat Shabbat service. It is still a learning process. My focus on the liturgical aspects of Judiasm has evolved over the years to become one of love for the liturgy.
In the future, I see my Jewish life becoming more involved with Judaism. I certainly see myself studying more than I ever have in the past.
6. Describe your sense of identification with the Jewish people in relation to Israel, world Jewry, the local Jewish community and your synagogue.
I identify with the Jewish people much better than with any other group. The Jewish people have been chastised and chased off from the places they rightfully belonged to. They have been used and abused through their history. Often, they have been unjustly persecuted. Much of my personal history parallels the Jewish history (just on a smaller basis).
I live in a neighborhood that is fairly close to the synagogue. I am attending services regularly and diligently. I am usually among the first to arrive to the service.
I frequently buy my goods from Jewish vendors.
Whenever I am traveling, I attempt to attend services at a local synagogue.
7. What is your commitment to prayer, Shabbat and keeping kosher?
My commitment to prayer involves davening, attending services regularly, and saying the Sh’ma twice daily with my children.
I strive not to perform any labor or employment related activities on Shabbat. I strive to attend all possible services at the synagogue.
I do not eat pork or shellfish. I have been trying to keep the dairy and meat separated in my cooking.
8. How do you plan to continue your Jewish study?
I realize that the decision that I have made to convert to Judaism represents a major turning point in my life. I realize that I still have a lot to learn once the conversion process has happened. I plan to continue my Jewish studies by becoming more integrated with my local synagogue and to take some classes related to Judiasm. I do plan to spend more time reading and studying the various sages and rabbinical writings. Eventually, I would like to attend a theological university or college to formally study Judaism. Another aspect of continuing my studies involves teaching my children about Judaism and having them be more involved in the synagogue.
Throughout my life, I have been in pursuit of pure truth. I was raised in a Christian environment and experienced numerous issues with the teachings that surfaced during that experience. By the time I was 16, I was questioning everything that was being taught in the churches we attended. In several areas, the explanations provided via the religious communities did not make sense. When I was 16 (1985), I was removed from a prominent Christian church in Oklahoma City because I chose to help a homeless man get to see his terminally ill daughter in a rain storm vs. attending a Sunday School class. At that point, I explored a few other versions of the Christian church community. (During my life, I have attended several different denominations of the Christian faith.)
I chose to jetison everything I had learned about religion by the time I was 18. When I resided in Scotland (1989-1991), I began to re-establish my religious beliefs. I studied whenever possible to try to establish a flawless theological foundation. However, I found myself removed from a Baptist church and an Assembly of G-d church on the same day. My “crime” was answering someone’s question with an explanation directly from Proverbs. I was promptly disassociated from these churches because I read and talked about the Scriptures.
I still continued my pursuit of the theological truth after being removed from these congregations. At this point in my life, I began to realize that the pursuit of the theological truth was going to be somewhat unpopular with the mainstream Christains… but I had to pursue it. There were far too many unanswered questions and theological conflicts presented by Christianity. It is not sufficient for me to receive an answer about a religious issue of “you just have to accept it even though we do not have a foundation for it”.
In February 2000, a lady who worked in the executive wing of my employer’s compound visited with me about some Hebrew lessons she was taking with a Jewish congregation. She explained that she wanted me to investigate some claims by the congregation about mistranslations in the Scriptures being used by the Christian communities. I explained that I knew nothing about the Hebrew and Greek languages. She acknowledged this fact and informed me that she knew I would find out the actual truth regardless of what it was (I was an internal auditor who investigated fraud at that time). I spent the evening pouring over books and back translating the English into the Greek text. I discovered that the claims made by the Jewish congregation were accurate and very much understated. This event raised numerous questions for me to explore. I began logically working all of the issues backwards that I had with Christianity. Before the night was over, I had settled all of the issues I had with Christianity. If anything, it was a fraud. I jetisoned everything I learned about religion (again) and began to explore the Jewish lifestyle from that point in time forward.
Through Judaism, all of the theological issues I had during my prior experiences were eliminated completely. Logically, Judaism makes perfect sense to me.
2. Which Jewish values do you find most appealing and persuasive?
The concept of lifetime study appeals the most to me. As a former university professor and current doctoral student, I believe in pursuing study as part of a lifestyle and a lifelong commitment… not to merely meet a requirement. Simplicity and economy are two of the most appealing values to me. I do not believe it is fair to others for one to flaunt their wealth or lack of wealth. Judaism’s focus on the family and ritual observances are very important to me. I believe that it will help solidify my children’s theological values early on and without any concealment of reality or flawed thinking.
3. How is Judaism more appropriate for you than your former religion or worldview/lifestyle?
Judaism encourages thinking and study in a way that other religions do not necessarily do. It also encourages one to question and seek to understand the Scriptures instead of blindly accepting a person’s explanation of why it is the way it is. Keeping the Shabbat and the High Holy days have actually provided me and my family with a time of rest that was not available to us under any other religious viewpoint.
4. Describe your understanding of and relationship to God.
G-d is the supreme being who is responsible for the creation and orchestration of this world and universe. We have a responsibility to honor Him by keeping His commandments and worshiping Him in the ways that He has instructed us to do. It is our pleasure to worship Him and keep His commands. My relationship to G-d is one that involves studying the Torah and attending the prayer services or conducting them at home with my children should we not be able to attend.
5. How has your personal and home life changed because of Jewish tradition? How do see your Jewish life progressing in the future?
The biggest change in my personal and home life involved the challenge of keeping of the Shabbat. I have been trying to observe the Shabbat in some manner since Feb 2000. I have strove to not to work at my job and perform physical labor on Shabbat, to have a Shabbat dinner, and to daven the Kabbalat Shabbat service. It is still a learning process. My focus on the liturgical aspects of Judiasm has evolved over the years to become one of love for the liturgy.
In the future, I see my Jewish life becoming more involved with Judaism. I certainly see myself studying more than I ever have in the past.
6. Describe your sense of identification with the Jewish people in relation to Israel, world Jewry, the local Jewish community and your synagogue.
I identify with the Jewish people much better than with any other group. The Jewish people have been chastised and chased off from the places they rightfully belonged to. They have been used and abused through their history. Often, they have been unjustly persecuted. Much of my personal history parallels the Jewish history (just on a smaller basis).
I live in a neighborhood that is fairly close to the synagogue. I am attending services regularly and diligently. I am usually among the first to arrive to the service.
I frequently buy my goods from Jewish vendors.
Whenever I am traveling, I attempt to attend services at a local synagogue.
7. What is your commitment to prayer, Shabbat and keeping kosher?
My commitment to prayer involves davening, attending services regularly, and saying the Sh’ma twice daily with my children.
I strive not to perform any labor or employment related activities on Shabbat. I strive to attend all possible services at the synagogue.
I do not eat pork or shellfish. I have been trying to keep the dairy and meat separated in my cooking.
8. How do you plan to continue your Jewish study?
I realize that the decision that I have made to convert to Judaism represents a major turning point in my life. I realize that I still have a lot to learn once the conversion process has happened. I plan to continue my Jewish studies by becoming more integrated with my local synagogue and to take some classes related to Judiasm. I do plan to spend more time reading and studying the various sages and rabbinical writings. Eventually, I would like to attend a theological university or college to formally study Judaism. Another aspect of continuing my studies involves teaching my children about Judaism and having them be more involved in the synagogue.
essay for conversion
Conversion Essay
Finding Valueable Separateness
When I was twenty-four I went to Trondheim, Norway, seeking my roots, as that had been my ancestors gateway city from the old country. I didn’t find any relatives, but lots of people who looked like me. While staying with some new-found friends who were college students, I saw a poster on the wall with a big red symbol which fascinated me so much so that I replicated it in my journal. Now, with my Jewish education underway, I know that this point of attraction was an aleph, and I wonder at the way it pulled me to it! My first Seder was an eye-opener, as I had no previous knowledge that the freedom from slavery was anything special to Jews. I had already honed my own understanding of the labor struggle’s critical status in human civilization, and now I find a religion that agrees! But, even more than these factors, my first Yom Kippur service impressed me so that I still look with awe to the teachings of Torah and the Rabbis who formulated the Oral Law.
In the following pages I will talk more about my experience of davvening, as well as some of the kashrut practices my future wife and I keep in our home. I will also attempt to describe my understanding of Hashem, and my connection to the Jewish people and to Israel. I think it goes without saying that there is a world and many lifetimes of thought and paradox in Jewish study, which are among the most appealing aspects of the religion, so my learning has just begun and will continue forever. First, however, I want to paint a picture of my upbringing so that you will understand my reasons for becoming a Jew-by-choice.
When I was a child, I was taught to respect others. I was also instilled with the condfidence that I could do anything I wanted to do. I was given room to cry. I was trained to work hard in the pursuit of understanding. Education, I was told, had a value above and beyond diplomas or certificates and the potentially higher paying jobs that went with them. The culture of my parents held the belief that though fortune through enterprise was a necessary evil, a job well done had its own intrinsic benefit for a persons well-being, or, soul, if you will. It was explained that animals felt pain, and that I should be mindful of this, even in regard to the smallest insect. Exceptions to this rule were based on severe nuisance (mosquitos), eminent pain (hornets), danger (bears), and hunger (we were meat-eaters). Yet, it was expected that I would apply both intelligence (as to the question of necessity) and compassion (in regard to life) in even in these cases.
Religion, on the other hand, was scoffed at as though it were a weakness. A proverb I recall from my developing years was that there were about as many bars as churches in the world, and they both served the same purpose. My father was not exactly a communist, but he did favor a Marxist quotation: “Religion is the opiate of the masses.” My mother’s attitude was that though this opinion may be a bit high-handed, church was not necessarily an end-all. She was famous for proclamations such as “you know better than that,” implying a priori ethical acquisition. “No son of mine” would do unthinkable action X, or “I raised you to think before you speak!” Another common imperative was “You’re a Johnson – Act like one.” Many of the preceding provisions and examples could apply to Jewish upbringing, in a general sort of way. The major difference is that there was no greater reason given for anything. The prime directive was merely “It doesn’t matter how other people behave, you can be better. Having a child was stressed as the greatest accomplishment in life, but there was no generative responsibility to a larger community involved. Now I find, with Judaism, the a”Kadosh” reason for all of these, and I long to be more a part of this, and to learn how I might let my light shine as an example, but not a burden.
Of course, none of this would mean anything to my conversion if I didn’t believe in G-d. To this let me say that in my life I have been irrreligious, not atheist. I have wrestled unflinchingly with cosmogonic questions, have had divine experiences, and know in my heart that the world and G-d are one, though that which defies naming by human language is greater than even this unity. My belief, however, has always been a lone quotient. Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, and even Buddhists have all attempted to convert me to their dogma, but I found that desire itself an expression of, at best, insecurity in their faith, and at worst, outright arrogance through polarizing the world into true believers and the Other, who is misled! Therefore, I discovered an inner intolerance at religion’s seeming lack of tolerance. Judaism had come up, but I was misled by a lack of common knowledge. I thought converts were not allowed; that “choseness” meant genetic singularity; that kosher meant everyone else was unclean and unworthy of G-d’s true grace. Though these ideas are disturbing, now that I realize their rootedness through society is emblematic of a pervasive anti-semitism, I am happy to find they are untrue. Judaism meets my need for experiential spiritual practice. It is an earth-based religion in that its structure is horizontal and cyclic (I love the lunar calendar!). Furthermore it is rooted in the here and now through daily individual practice and prayer. By horizontal, I mean that all people are acknowledged, regardless of personal religious ties (i.e., Noahide laws), and it is admitted that we are connected. Therefore Chesed is encouraged throughout the world. These two facets make sense to me because there is no “easy way out” as in some other religions. To be Jewish we strive to hit the mark, but even if (or when) we miss, we always strive anew each new day, each new season, each new year in which we are sealed in the book of life.
That first Yom Kippur service must have been really something! To have atoned and been written into the book 3,500 years ago: Wow! However, I think the Days of Awe have added a lot toward personal spiritualism and existential responsability. My first Yom Kippur was life-changing. Not only was Kol Nidre heart-moving, but when it came to the repeated heart-thumping in the all-sins prayer I felt it shake me. When Julie (my fiance) whispered at one point that there was a special yearly prayer for the deceased of one’s immediate family, and that I could stay for my mom, who passed away in 1986, I became a little overwhelmed. (This year, my third Yom Kippur, I did stay for Yitzkor, and in daily minyan some people were saying Kaddish, and I find this a very positive practice.) At the break between the morning and afternoon-evening service I broke down and bawled my head off. I was thinking about all my missed marks and considering the way that Judaism made room for those and allowed for personal apology to let the new year be a clean slate and about, how through individual practice and constant realignment one can overcome short-comings. It was then that I began to consider the Judaism as a possible faith for me. Since then, I have learned so much and realize that there is so much more to learn, that I see a joyful lifetime of full of learning and practice.
As far as my personal commitment to Judaism and my Jewish home life are concerned, I am still striving to lead a Kosher life. Julie and I light Shabbos candles 90% of the time, and attend services every other week, however we have made it a practice to stay home on alternating weeks, and have made it clear to our non-Jewish and non-observant friends that we don’t “go out” on Friday nights. Our kithen has not been kashered, but we do clean out the hametz for Pesach. Additionally, I have adopted the practice of wearing a kippah and celebrate all of the holidays, even minor ones like Lag B’Omer. However, I am struggling with most of the don’ts in the 613 Mitzvahs. I have stopped eating pork and shellfish, and usually remember to separate life from death by not mixing milk with flesh, and, when eating in restaurants, I follow Julie’s grandmother’s practice of choosing a fish or vegetarian entrée. I like praying in the morning (Shacharit), and really enjoyed davenning at sunset outdoors with an all male minyan one special Shabbos last fall at a friend’s house with a visiting scholar from Israel. That Services always make me think and feel new ways about things, and I enjoy my private study of the Tanakh and Siddur. Julie and I are definitiely going to raise our children Jewish, and she is committed to making a Jewish home for our family. In the future I am hoping to be Shomer Shabbos. When I own my own business, it will definitely be closed on Saturdays. I am a little jealous of the Orthodox familys in West Rogers Park out for their afternoon walk, dressed to the nines, loving and feeling loved by and in Torah.
I wear my Kippah everyday. It makes me happy to remember G-d wants my head covered. I have always been called different, and have often felt alienated from what is considered normal in society. Now I can specifically identify with customs and practices that do make sense. Separateness is a good thing, as it leaves room for your self to develop independent of negative influences which often come from the crowd mentality of a majority.
In conclusion, let me say that lately I’ve felt the urge to visit Israel. It’s interesting, because the Israeli’s I’ve met are very non-observant, but are still considered Jews. Is that contradictory to the idea that Jewishness is a form of religiosity? The community synagogue group I belong to is called Mitziut, and they are what is called a renewal group. It was founded by Rabbi Zalman Schacter-Shalomi, and is all about increasing personal connection with the divine through meaningful ritual and prayer. The goal is to reach out to folks who feel out of touch and give them an experiential means of finding the the Kaddosh in daily activivities. In renewal writings there is an emphasis on finding the the holy in the normal, and the normal in the holy. This reminds me so of the value making life a practice of raising up the human consciousness to be more like the divine at the same time as bringing that ideal reality down and recognizing it in the world around us, all the time! There is order to all things, and that is go(o)d.
Finding Valueable Separateness
When I was twenty-four I went to Trondheim, Norway, seeking my roots, as that had been my ancestors gateway city from the old country. I didn’t find any relatives, but lots of people who looked like me. While staying with some new-found friends who were college students, I saw a poster on the wall with a big red symbol which fascinated me so much so that I replicated it in my journal. Now, with my Jewish education underway, I know that this point of attraction was an aleph, and I wonder at the way it pulled me to it! My first Seder was an eye-opener, as I had no previous knowledge that the freedom from slavery was anything special to Jews. I had already honed my own understanding of the labor struggle’s critical status in human civilization, and now I find a religion that agrees! But, even more than these factors, my first Yom Kippur service impressed me so that I still look with awe to the teachings of Torah and the Rabbis who formulated the Oral Law.
In the following pages I will talk more about my experience of davvening, as well as some of the kashrut practices my future wife and I keep in our home. I will also attempt to describe my understanding of Hashem, and my connection to the Jewish people and to Israel. I think it goes without saying that there is a world and many lifetimes of thought and paradox in Jewish study, which are among the most appealing aspects of the religion, so my learning has just begun and will continue forever. First, however, I want to paint a picture of my upbringing so that you will understand my reasons for becoming a Jew-by-choice.
When I was a child, I was taught to respect others. I was also instilled with the condfidence that I could do anything I wanted to do. I was given room to cry. I was trained to work hard in the pursuit of understanding. Education, I was told, had a value above and beyond diplomas or certificates and the potentially higher paying jobs that went with them. The culture of my parents held the belief that though fortune through enterprise was a necessary evil, a job well done had its own intrinsic benefit for a persons well-being, or, soul, if you will. It was explained that animals felt pain, and that I should be mindful of this, even in regard to the smallest insect. Exceptions to this rule were based on severe nuisance (mosquitos), eminent pain (hornets), danger (bears), and hunger (we were meat-eaters). Yet, it was expected that I would apply both intelligence (as to the question of necessity) and compassion (in regard to life) in even in these cases.
Religion, on the other hand, was scoffed at as though it were a weakness. A proverb I recall from my developing years was that there were about as many bars as churches in the world, and they both served the same purpose. My father was not exactly a communist, but he did favor a Marxist quotation: “Religion is the opiate of the masses.” My mother’s attitude was that though this opinion may be a bit high-handed, church was not necessarily an end-all. She was famous for proclamations such as “you know better than that,” implying a priori ethical acquisition. “No son of mine” would do unthinkable action X, or “I raised you to think before you speak!” Another common imperative was “You’re a Johnson – Act like one.” Many of the preceding provisions and examples could apply to Jewish upbringing, in a general sort of way. The major difference is that there was no greater reason given for anything. The prime directive was merely “It doesn’t matter how other people behave, you can be better. Having a child was stressed as the greatest accomplishment in life, but there was no generative responsibility to a larger community involved. Now I find, with Judaism, the a”Kadosh” reason for all of these, and I long to be more a part of this, and to learn how I might let my light shine as an example, but not a burden.
Of course, none of this would mean anything to my conversion if I didn’t believe in G-d. To this let me say that in my life I have been irrreligious, not atheist. I have wrestled unflinchingly with cosmogonic questions, have had divine experiences, and know in my heart that the world and G-d are one, though that which defies naming by human language is greater than even this unity. My belief, however, has always been a lone quotient. Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, and even Buddhists have all attempted to convert me to their dogma, but I found that desire itself an expression of, at best, insecurity in their faith, and at worst, outright arrogance through polarizing the world into true believers and the Other, who is misled! Therefore, I discovered an inner intolerance at religion’s seeming lack of tolerance. Judaism had come up, but I was misled by a lack of common knowledge. I thought converts were not allowed; that “choseness” meant genetic singularity; that kosher meant everyone else was unclean and unworthy of G-d’s true grace. Though these ideas are disturbing, now that I realize their rootedness through society is emblematic of a pervasive anti-semitism, I am happy to find they are untrue. Judaism meets my need for experiential spiritual practice. It is an earth-based religion in that its structure is horizontal and cyclic (I love the lunar calendar!). Furthermore it is rooted in the here and now through daily individual practice and prayer. By horizontal, I mean that all people are acknowledged, regardless of personal religious ties (i.e., Noahide laws), and it is admitted that we are connected. Therefore Chesed is encouraged throughout the world. These two facets make sense to me because there is no “easy way out” as in some other religions. To be Jewish we strive to hit the mark, but even if (or when) we miss, we always strive anew each new day, each new season, each new year in which we are sealed in the book of life.
That first Yom Kippur service must have been really something! To have atoned and been written into the book 3,500 years ago: Wow! However, I think the Days of Awe have added a lot toward personal spiritualism and existential responsability. My first Yom Kippur was life-changing. Not only was Kol Nidre heart-moving, but when it came to the repeated heart-thumping in the all-sins prayer I felt it shake me. When Julie (my fiance) whispered at one point that there was a special yearly prayer for the deceased of one’s immediate family, and that I could stay for my mom, who passed away in 1986, I became a little overwhelmed. (This year, my third Yom Kippur, I did stay for Yitzkor, and in daily minyan some people were saying Kaddish, and I find this a very positive practice.) At the break between the morning and afternoon-evening service I broke down and bawled my head off. I was thinking about all my missed marks and considering the way that Judaism made room for those and allowed for personal apology to let the new year be a clean slate and about, how through individual practice and constant realignment one can overcome short-comings. It was then that I began to consider the Judaism as a possible faith for me. Since then, I have learned so much and realize that there is so much more to learn, that I see a joyful lifetime of full of learning and practice.
As far as my personal commitment to Judaism and my Jewish home life are concerned, I am still striving to lead a Kosher life. Julie and I light Shabbos candles 90% of the time, and attend services every other week, however we have made it a practice to stay home on alternating weeks, and have made it clear to our non-Jewish and non-observant friends that we don’t “go out” on Friday nights. Our kithen has not been kashered, but we do clean out the hametz for Pesach. Additionally, I have adopted the practice of wearing a kippah and celebrate all of the holidays, even minor ones like Lag B’Omer. However, I am struggling with most of the don’ts in the 613 Mitzvahs. I have stopped eating pork and shellfish, and usually remember to separate life from death by not mixing milk with flesh, and, when eating in restaurants, I follow Julie’s grandmother’s practice of choosing a fish or vegetarian entrée. I like praying in the morning (Shacharit), and really enjoyed davenning at sunset outdoors with an all male minyan one special Shabbos last fall at a friend’s house with a visiting scholar from Israel. That Services always make me think and feel new ways about things, and I enjoy my private study of the Tanakh and Siddur. Julie and I are definitiely going to raise our children Jewish, and she is committed to making a Jewish home for our family. In the future I am hoping to be Shomer Shabbos. When I own my own business, it will definitely be closed on Saturdays. I am a little jealous of the Orthodox familys in West Rogers Park out for their afternoon walk, dressed to the nines, loving and feeling loved by and in Torah.
I wear my Kippah everyday. It makes me happy to remember G-d wants my head covered. I have always been called different, and have often felt alienated from what is considered normal in society. Now I can specifically identify with customs and practices that do make sense. Separateness is a good thing, as it leaves room for your self to develop independent of negative influences which often come from the crowd mentality of a majority.
In conclusion, let me say that lately I’ve felt the urge to visit Israel. It’s interesting, because the Israeli’s I’ve met are very non-observant, but are still considered Jews. Is that contradictory to the idea that Jewishness is a form of religiosity? The community synagogue group I belong to is called Mitziut, and they are what is called a renewal group. It was founded by Rabbi Zalman Schacter-Shalomi, and is all about increasing personal connection with the divine through meaningful ritual and prayer. The goal is to reach out to folks who feel out of touch and give them an experiential means of finding the the Kaddosh in daily activivities. In renewal writings there is an emphasis on finding the the holy in the normal, and the normal in the holy. This reminds me so of the value making life a practice of raising up the human consciousness to be more like the divine at the same time as bringing that ideal reality down and recognizing it in the world around us, all the time! There is order to all things, and that is go(o)d.
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